“Only when we have ourselves absorbed its (The Word’s) message can we confidently share it with others” -John Stott Between Two Worlds
In the past I thought I reflected the Word to others pretty well. Any and every lesson I learned was neatly packaged and marketed. God's Word was spoken well but rarely absorbed into my life. I was a mirror without a sense of itself and a sponge that never got wet. I can remember times sharing in college and as a youth pastor and in the middle of a sentence that annoying still small voice would whisper, “Do you really believe this?” Naturally I would ignore this voice and go on with my message.
Doctor’s often ignore their symptoms and believe they can’t be sick and I think that the same can be true of pastors. I am not sure if it was the pressure to perform and uphold my reputation. Maybe I am just not good at planning ahead but rarely did I allow my messages affect me first. Even during times of self reflection and personal study, when God would speak to me I would quickly divert it into an idea for a message. I am left wondering that in around 3+ years of ministry have I grown at all. Have I just not allowed God to touch me?
As of right now I am not in the ministry in an official capacity i.e. paid. I am seeing this as a time to do some much needed study. Not for a message or to even share my fascinating revelations with everyone I see. I want to be absorbed by God for God’s sake not for my rep or my paycheck. I am so guilty of using God to make me look good and that could quite possibly be the reason that I have not heard from God in longer than I care to admit. I now believe that some of this silence could be due to the fact that His most important lessons I have not kept quietly to myself.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Indianapolis
After alot of thinking and reading and mental debate Linds and I have decided on a graduate school. We looked everywhere from George Fox in Portland OR to Denver Seminary in CO and Azusa in southern California. We debated and numbercrunched and prayed our guts out and in the end we decided...on IWU. I know what you are thinking. Why in the world would you go crawling back to the university that you did your undergrad in? I had some nice sounding reasons prepared but when it comes down to it it was about the money. I can get a Ministerial Leadership/Non-profi managment degree for about a third less that any of those other places. For a person who is planning on working and managing nonprofit organizations that was an offer i couldn't refuse. So Linds and I are looking for jobs in Indy and hoping to start school this november. It was a little hard to give up my dreams of living in the Pacific Northwest but this is definatly the best decision for us and we are pumped to live near so many friends.
We also just finished a month long road trip that started in Charleston SC and wound its way through Chicago, Montana, Yellowstone, and Denver. It was a blast! A good chunck of the trip we journeyed with Nate and Jenny Richardson. It was good to be with friends again.
I am planning on posting my reflections on this trip here soon. Wish us luck on the job search and see pics on Facebook
Justin and Lindsay
We also just finished a month long road trip that started in Charleston SC and wound its way through Chicago, Montana, Yellowstone, and Denver. It was a blast! A good chunck of the trip we journeyed with Nate and Jenny Richardson. It was good to be with friends again.
I am planning on posting my reflections on this trip here soon. Wish us luck on the job search and see pics on Facebook
Justin and Lindsay
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Discipline
Discipline always out of reach
It must be how they preach
How can I love more than me?
Enough to take the tree
Coldness of soul, desires heat
Content to hide behind veil and sheet
Tries to dig a little deeper
Sadly prefers the grace that comes cheaper
It must be how they preach
How can I love more than me?
Enough to take the tree
Coldness of soul, desires heat
Content to hide behind veil and sheet
Tries to dig a little deeper
Sadly prefers the grace that comes cheaper
Reinventing Divinity
Jesus was too secular
So the saying goes
Such a thought spectacular
The right side says it knows
"Make Jesus sacred more and more
Wine meant grapejuice you see
Loving Him should be a chore
Cause He came to set you free"
So the saying goes
Such a thought spectacular
The right side says it knows
"Make Jesus sacred more and more
Wine meant grapejuice you see
Loving Him should be a chore
Cause He came to set you free"
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Settling in Greenville
Sorry it has been so long since my last update. I can't think of any really good excuses so I will just use the standard, "We are busy." Things in Greenville are good. The weather is great but the locals think it is cold (what kind of wimps think that 60 is cold...Southern Softies).
Linds got a job at a local Starbucks (and surprisingly does not like it) I am working at the local Rib joint/blues bar Sticky Fingers(and surprisingly am loving it). No real word on Grad Schools yet. We are beginning a season of prayer for this...please keep praying for us.
Personally, I have really been wrestling with God and what it means to be called by Him. Nothing new there. Linds and I both just want to follow Jesus.
Keep Praying,
Love you all,
J + L
Linds got a job at a local Starbucks (and surprisingly does not like it) I am working at the local Rib joint/blues bar Sticky Fingers(and surprisingly am loving it). No real word on Grad Schools yet. We are beginning a season of prayer for this...please keep praying for us.
Personally, I have really been wrestling with God and what it means to be called by Him. Nothing new there. Linds and I both just want to follow Jesus.
Keep Praying,
Love you all,
J + L
Monday, February 26, 2007
Leaving Whiteford
After 2 years of ministry Lindsay and I have decided to submit my resignation to Whiteford Wesleyan Church. We have had a great experience and have made some great friends but we feel strongly that God has called us elsewhere. We are excited, scared, releaved, nervious and a host of other feelings but we have an undeniable peace about the whole thing. We are sure we are doing the right thing, we are just not sure what the next thing is.
Please pray for us:
Pay stops March 4th and the plan is to move in with Linds parents and work while seeking grad schools. This is really humbling and a blow to my overinflated sense of self worth. I love Ma and Pa Miller but moving in with parents sometimes feels like defeat. Pray that I can have a healthy attitude about it and that we can use this time to be refreshed and ready for where God leads us next.
We need direction and peace about the next step. We are 100% sure we need to leave Whiteford and move to SC but it gets pretty foggy after that. We need to be freed from the shackles of having to see 5 and 6 steps ahead and be ok with waiting for God to direct and speak in his time.
We are actively looking for graduate schools but cannot settle on a field of study. Do we both get a degree? What kind? How long? Sacred (MDiv, Counseling etc.) or Secular (Writing, Business, Film)? The list goes on and on.
Thanks for your prayers,
Justin and Lindsay
Please pray for us:
Pay stops March 4th and the plan is to move in with Linds parents and work while seeking grad schools. This is really humbling and a blow to my overinflated sense of self worth. I love Ma and Pa Miller but moving in with parents sometimes feels like defeat. Pray that I can have a healthy attitude about it and that we can use this time to be refreshed and ready for where God leads us next.
We need direction and peace about the next step. We are 100% sure we need to leave Whiteford and move to SC but it gets pretty foggy after that. We need to be freed from the shackles of having to see 5 and 6 steps ahead and be ok with waiting for God to direct and speak in his time.
We are actively looking for graduate schools but cannot settle on a field of study. Do we both get a degree? What kind? How long? Sacred (MDiv, Counseling etc.) or Secular (Writing, Business, Film)? The list goes on and on.
Thanks for your prayers,
Justin and Lindsay
Friday, February 23, 2007
God is crazy
“To whom much is given much is required” – Jesus Christ according to Luke
This phrase haunts me. I don’t think any other teaching of Jesus scares me more. As an American I have been given more wealth and opportunity than most people in history…what am I doing with it? As a mentally sane person (relatively) I have been blessed with intelligence and reasoning skills that some can only dream of…what am I doing with it? As a…well you get the picture. If I look at all I have been blessed with there really is no excuse for me not the achieve God’s wildest dreams for me.
God’s dreams are scary. When he called Moses, Moses was scared. When he asked Abraham to sacrifice is only son Isaac I am sure he felt knots and butterflies all the way up the mountain…imagine how Isaac felt about it. Jesus sweated drops of blood before he was executed. When we look at what God was asking of these people and apply it to “rational” thought we come to the conclusion that God is in fact crazy.
I think that we sell ourselves short when we seek to achieve our dreams because our dreams are too small. We tend to dream things that we can achieve just in case God does not come through for us. We call it “practical” but in reality it is atheism because we are living life like there is no God. We have been given so much yet we hold so much back in the name of reason (from the human point of view). What if we began to dream dreams that are destined to fail if God does not show up? That might make us crazy but I also believe that it makes us godly.
Following God is not for the faint of heart. If we cherish safety and comfort more than obedience we will be disappointed and I believe that God will then be disappointed in us. I don’t think it was ever meant to be easy. I think that it is supposed to be impossible. We then have to depend on a God who is crazy enough to specialize in the impossible.
For some further reading see Luke 12: 35-48 and 19: 11-27
Talk Amongst Yourselves J
This phrase haunts me. I don’t think any other teaching of Jesus scares me more. As an American I have been given more wealth and opportunity than most people in history…what am I doing with it? As a mentally sane person (relatively) I have been blessed with intelligence and reasoning skills that some can only dream of…what am I doing with it? As a…well you get the picture. If I look at all I have been blessed with there really is no excuse for me not the achieve God’s wildest dreams for me.
God’s dreams are scary. When he called Moses, Moses was scared. When he asked Abraham to sacrifice is only son Isaac I am sure he felt knots and butterflies all the way up the mountain…imagine how Isaac felt about it. Jesus sweated drops of blood before he was executed. When we look at what God was asking of these people and apply it to “rational” thought we come to the conclusion that God is in fact crazy.
I think that we sell ourselves short when we seek to achieve our dreams because our dreams are too small. We tend to dream things that we can achieve just in case God does not come through for us. We call it “practical” but in reality it is atheism because we are living life like there is no God. We have been given so much yet we hold so much back in the name of reason (from the human point of view). What if we began to dream dreams that are destined to fail if God does not show up? That might make us crazy but I also believe that it makes us godly.
Following God is not for the faint of heart. If we cherish safety and comfort more than obedience we will be disappointed and I believe that God will then be disappointed in us. I don’t think it was ever meant to be easy. I think that it is supposed to be impossible. We then have to depend on a God who is crazy enough to specialize in the impossible.
For some further reading see Luke 12: 35-48 and 19: 11-27
Talk Amongst Yourselves J
Friday, January 12, 2007
Reconsidering the essentials
As most of you know (from previous articles) Lindsay and I have a lot of stuff. We are in the process of downsizing so moving is not such a pain. Everyone has to do it from time to time. You sift through your stuff, throw out what you have not worn in a while, replace or forget and repeat. One hundred years ago people would have said that you needed, food, shelter, heat, and clothes. Now we say you need entertainment, style, gift cards, and music. None of which will keep you alive or sustain you at all!
We seem stuck in an endless cycle. We start with the essentials and begin accumulating till the closet, floor and budget can’t hold anymore and then we purge only to begin again. It is like material bulimia. It feels good to own stuff and it feels good to own so much that you can through it out. We have actually begun to reconsider our move into a house. Did we do it for the right reasons or only because we had accumulated so much junk we needed space to hold it? We actually miss apartment living because you had to actually make decisions about what you allow in the home and what you do without because you can’t hold it.
We were talking about all this stuff over coffee and I began to feel very guilty. I could not really explain why until I began to see that this cycle has had me in its grip for years and it is more than just material. I do this to Christ all the time.
At its heart following Christ is about life and living as opposed to death and unliving (see/read Philip K. Dick’s A Scanner Darkly for an interesting dichotomy between living and unliving). Simple choices made day by day to follow God in the form of Jesus. We make it about so much more. We make it about looks, “Do I look and act Christian enough”, music “Did you get the new “prom songs” to Jesus album?” or voting “Vote Christian, Vote Republican” and a host of other crap that is associated with Jesus but is certainly not essential. It is time for a purge.
What kind of associated junk have we given Jesus that was never essential? Here is my list, what do you think?
Consumerism: “Jesus wants you to have health, wealth, and prosperity.” As I read it Jesus had nothing. Paul had nothing. Job had something and it was all taken away. Same story with Moses and Elisha. “The love of money is the root of all evil.” I can’t stand it when I hear that Jesus wants me to be rich. I like money and possessions and they are not evil in and of themselves but I am not sure they would be the aspirations of your prayer life.
Style: “The pope may be French but Jesus Christ was English!” A silly quote from a silly time but we are still arguing the same junk. One side says we should have Hymns and the other Choruses. Some even say they have scripture to prove which is right. People in my generation whine and pine in house churches and the old folks sit in the pew and get older. Can we please get over it? Jesus was in his 30’s but found it in himself to reach out and give responsibility to 15 year olds. He also drank wine and he might have even danced. Stuffy stick-up-your-butt services and cybered up techno worship he neither endorsed nor condemned. Sometimes we miss “worship in Spirit and in Truth.”
Partisanship: “If you want to be elected you need a cross around your neck.” Jesus has turned into a brand name and a catchphrase. You have to admit that he was political. He said some very hot political statements but he was never partisan. In many ways he pissed off all political parties off equally, which made him a hero to the poor and the oppressed. If he were around today he would be the only person who could get a Democrat, Republican, Green, Libertarian, and Islamo-Facist to agree on anything…they would all want to kill him.
I am sure that it could go on for a while but I don’t want this to be an indictment of the system or the “whine and pine” I mentioned before. I want this to tickle your thinker so we can begin to undress our religion and embrace our faith. What are some things that we have bound to Jesus that need to be loosed? What are some things we have done away with that you would like to see back?
Talk amongst yourselves
We seem stuck in an endless cycle. We start with the essentials and begin accumulating till the closet, floor and budget can’t hold anymore and then we purge only to begin again. It is like material bulimia. It feels good to own stuff and it feels good to own so much that you can through it out. We have actually begun to reconsider our move into a house. Did we do it for the right reasons or only because we had accumulated so much junk we needed space to hold it? We actually miss apartment living because you had to actually make decisions about what you allow in the home and what you do without because you can’t hold it.
We were talking about all this stuff over coffee and I began to feel very guilty. I could not really explain why until I began to see that this cycle has had me in its grip for years and it is more than just material. I do this to Christ all the time.
At its heart following Christ is about life and living as opposed to death and unliving (see/read Philip K. Dick’s A Scanner Darkly for an interesting dichotomy between living and unliving). Simple choices made day by day to follow God in the form of Jesus. We make it about so much more. We make it about looks, “Do I look and act Christian enough”, music “Did you get the new “prom songs” to Jesus album?” or voting “Vote Christian, Vote Republican” and a host of other crap that is associated with Jesus but is certainly not essential. It is time for a purge.
What kind of associated junk have we given Jesus that was never essential? Here is my list, what do you think?
Consumerism: “Jesus wants you to have health, wealth, and prosperity.” As I read it Jesus had nothing. Paul had nothing. Job had something and it was all taken away. Same story with Moses and Elisha. “The love of money is the root of all evil.” I can’t stand it when I hear that Jesus wants me to be rich. I like money and possessions and they are not evil in and of themselves but I am not sure they would be the aspirations of your prayer life.
Style: “The pope may be French but Jesus Christ was English!” A silly quote from a silly time but we are still arguing the same junk. One side says we should have Hymns and the other Choruses. Some even say they have scripture to prove which is right. People in my generation whine and pine in house churches and the old folks sit in the pew and get older. Can we please get over it? Jesus was in his 30’s but found it in himself to reach out and give responsibility to 15 year olds. He also drank wine and he might have even danced. Stuffy stick-up-your-butt services and cybered up techno worship he neither endorsed nor condemned. Sometimes we miss “worship in Spirit and in Truth.”
Partisanship: “If you want to be elected you need a cross around your neck.” Jesus has turned into a brand name and a catchphrase. You have to admit that he was political. He said some very hot political statements but he was never partisan. In many ways he pissed off all political parties off equally, which made him a hero to the poor and the oppressed. If he were around today he would be the only person who could get a Democrat, Republican, Green, Libertarian, and Islamo-Facist to agree on anything…they would all want to kill him.
I am sure that it could go on for a while but I don’t want this to be an indictment of the system or the “whine and pine” I mentioned before. I want this to tickle your thinker so we can begin to undress our religion and embrace our faith. What are some things that we have bound to Jesus that need to be loosed? What are some things we have done away with that you would like to see back?
Talk amongst yourselves
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