More thoughts on the lack of men in the Church

“The church at present has been characterized as a place for women, wierdos and wimps” – “Why Men Hate Going to Church”

I have been reading this book and many others about church history and masculinity. What has happened to all the “real men”? I am not talking about the drinking/carousing/foul mouthed “real men.” I am talking about the bold, strong, courageous men that I read about in scripture and history but see few hints of in the average pew. I think they are there. I hope I am one of them, but I feel like we are all in hiding.

Often, I feel like I have to check my manhood at the door. I can’t be bold or courageous; I have to emulate “gentle Jesus meek and mild.” I can’t say what is really on my heart; someone’s feelings might get hurt. I know the fruit of the Spirit is “Love, joy, peace…kindness…gentleness…etc.” but we forget that all that is in the context of a rather pointed letter to the “foolish Galatians.” Besides, do we really have a biblical understanding of gentleness and kindness?

I wonder when the hiding started. Is it in Sunday school? Don’t talk, sit still, answer questions, play nice, be relational are all things girls are good at and most boys aren’t. In the end, “boys are treated like defective girls,” and resign themselves to being a little less spiritual. Was it during the Victorian era? When all the men had to leave the town to work in the mines and women began to shape and decorate the church.

Before I get crucified by all the ladies reading I want to say I am not bashing femininity. I am merely observing that the feminine spirit is alive and well while the masculine lays dormant, waiting for the chance to prove itself. The Church is by and large 80% female. No other world religion has this big of a gender deficit. Where are all the Christian men? Are we really less spiritual or are we just unable to be men given the present way we “do church”? Have you ever noticed this or is this just the absurd ramblings of the youth pastor? We have debated this issue for a while but really…how can the masculine spirit make a comeback?

Talk amongst yourselves J

Suggested Reading:
“Why Men Hate Going to Church” - Marrow
“Wild at Heart” - Eldredge
“All the King’s Men” - Weber
“Iron John” - Bly